Where are you from and where is your significant other from?
I am from Rome (Italy) and my husband is from Michigan (USA).
Where and when did you meet your significant other?
We met in Rome, Italy at a United Nations Charity event. It was a beautiful night, where many different people from different parts of the world came together under one roof.
Curator's Note: being the hopeless romantic that I am, I probably would have fallen in love fifty times in one night at an event like this!
Who made the first move?
He was the one who made the first move, deciding to come and talk to me, taking a break from his work (that night he was hosting the party as a deejay and music producer).
Curator's Note: the song "Last Night a DJ Saved My Life" is playing in my head right now.
If you were the foreigner, where did you think he was initially from?
I had been working in an international environment for over a year at that point, so just by looking at him as a person as well as the way he was dressed, I knew immediately that he was American. And as soon as I heard him speak, I had no more doubts of course.
Curator's Note: the way he was dressed...hehe. T-shirt, jeans and sneakers I'm guessing?
What was your first impression of him?
When I first met him, he was popular in the music industry and as a DJ and music producer in Europe, so I was amply happy that I could get to know him and maybe become friends. After having our first brief conversation, he left me his contact so I knew I would have most probably seen him again sooner or later. I was definitely intrigued in a person that was so different from the guys I had previously met in my life. Plus, he was a foreigner and I speak 5 different languages, so simply the idea of exercising my English was already a bonus for me.
Curator's Note: there's always a little je ne sais quoi about DJs isn't there? Maybe it's their sense of rhythm or just all the international-ness that gives them a certain amount of intrigue. Like James Bond.
Dish on the first kiss!
Well... I had never dated interracially before meeting him (and now he is my husband) so this was all completely new to me. I had ditched him a lot of times before when he asked me out, as I was not sure if I could trust him or not (you know the DJs reputation, right?). But at some point (and he was right) he got tired of me postponing or inventing excuses and he gave up. And that was probably a smart move on his side, because that was when I finally said to myself “OK, it’s just a drink... girl don’t be silly. He won’t bite”.
And he agreed to meet one night for a late “aperitivo” (the classic Italian tapas & drinks). I was taking ice skating lessons at the time and met up with him right after a night lesson. I was very hungry as per my usual. Italian boys always said it was easier to buy me a dress than bring me out for dinner (because I love food and can eat a lot - so dinner wasn’t cheap when treating me), but he actually seemed amused by the fact that I was not on a diet or picky. And to make the story short... we had a good conversation and lots of laughter on our first date. When we were finished, he walked me outside to my scooter and hugged me, we said goodbye but before he completely let me go, he came in for a peck on the lips ...again and again. It was nice, soft and warm. I liked his soft full lips, definitely something new to me!
Curator's Note: I can almost feel it too, in a non-creepy way! By the way, I know we would be great friends- I also LOVE FOOD AND CAN EAT A LOT. Next time we're in the same city or country...mangiamo!
Where do you live now?
I was born in Rome and lived there all my life, while he had lived in America and Canada, as well as travelled throughout all Europe. We lived together in Italy for 10 years: in Rome first and then for a short time on the opposite coast (the Adriatic Sea), near the beach. Short after our second child was born, we decided to move to the States. We are living in Southern California for almost three years now, with our two beautiful children (daughter age 5 and son age 3).
Curator's Note: can't complain about Southern California at all! Your children are absolutely gorgeous by the way.
Have you learnt each other's languages?
As mentioned before, I speak multiple languages and talking to him every day for the past ten years has definitely helped improving my English exponentially. I have also helped him learn Italian, so now we both teach our children. He talks to them mostly in English, while I speak mostly Italian to them daily.
Curator's Note: they are already the luckiest kids in the world by having you two as parents and being given the gift of bilingualism.
The thing you love most about him.
I love his way of seeing things. He has way more experience than me even if he is only two years older and he is able to teach me new things every day. He literally is my “guru”. He never gives up and is always determined and always believes in himself and in what he does. He is my rock and the person I can always count on, no matter what.
What do you love most about being married?
Being married is not easy, just like life itself, it’s a roller coaster, full of ups and downs. It’s not a hobby, it’s not a part-time job, it’s (with no doubt) a full time all-the-time-with-no-breaks job (just like being a parent is).
You have to fight for it when things don’t go the way you want. You have to believe in what you have. You have to put your pride aside even when you are really mad and feel that you are not being understood.
Being married is sharing things with someone else, in good and bad, when you like it and even more when you hate it. It’s a team work, 360 degrees.
And that’s exactly what I love... having a partner in crime, in good and bad moments... being able to share every single moment of my life with someone else that truly knows me and accepts me the way I am. Family and happiness is a lifestyle, we grow closer every day.
Curator's Note: thanks for this, it really hit home with me being a newly-wed and all. You're so right that you have to fight for it and put pride aside for the benefit of the team. GO TEAM!
Any advice to “mixed” culture couples or couples doing long-distance?
I am not too familiar with long-distance and in my personal opinion (and experience!) it is something very difficult that only people who are truly committed can achieve. I’m not sure if I would have been able to be in a long-distance relationship with him if he would have been forced to leave Italy for unforeseen circumstances at the beginning of our love story. I had a sort of “young mentality” initially when we first met and only became more universal and mature after spending an extended amount of time with him.
Coming from two different worlds, with completely different habits and mentalities, speaking two different languages... is just not that easy per se. And, if on top of that you also add miles in between, it is going to be really hard (but not impossible!). Much respect to those who managed to do that!
An interracial relationship (depending on where you come from) can be really (really!!!) difficult. One thing is dating a person that comes from your same city/country and that experienced more or less the same things you did (that grew up watching the same tv shows, listening to the same music... that experienced the same or very similar school system, etc...) and another one is starting to date a person that not only does have a totally different background from yours, but that you even have difficulties communicating with! Yes, you can speak a language perfectly but if it’s not your mother tongue there will always be some things you can’t express the way you really want to (and please don’t forget the Metric System vs. Imperial system) ... there’s A LOT of differences. You have to have an open mind for a start and be willing to really put a lot of work into that.
There are tons of very small things that, once put together, create big mountains and obstacles to a relationship.
If you put aside racism, bad looks, people that criticize you or that simply don’t understand or do not want to accept you and your decisions... (aka all the ‘outside’ problems) there will still be the “inside” difficulties: mutual incomprehension due to the fact that you ARE two opposites.
The advice is: learn and understand the strengths and weaknesses of your partner. Be patient, try to put yourself in his/her shoes. When you don’t or can’t understand what they have experienced or where they came from, try not to judge or to be too impulsive. Put your ego aside and count to 10 (or to 1000 if needed!).
Always be the support system they are in need of, and always remember that patience is a virtue.
Many times you will be ready to give up or run away. But if you truly care about the person you are with, you will find out that LOVE ALWAYS WINS! ️
We know how hard it can be to be in a multicultural relationship. This is also why we created our company, MixedLove. We don’t only sell merchandise, we also promote diversity while expressing our love for life as well as aiming to embrace different cultures. We intend to make people aware and open to the world we love and live in. After all, Love is Love no matter your skin color or culture. We are all the same: One Human Race!
Submitted by Viki.
Here's how you can connect with these two:
Vi auguro tante belle cose. xoxo
If you enjoyed this post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at all of the Love Story Lunedì. There are so many amazing stories to read so make sure you're all caught up. And should you want to share your own story or know of a couple who would, please get in touch.
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