Dear Jasmine: Curious Co-Worker

Dear Curious Co-Worker,

All I had to do was read up until the second paragraph and I can already tell you that your intriguing Italian co-worker is most definitely interested (although whether he’s single is another thing to be investigated!). The key is that you keep catching him looking over at you. Italian men are all about the eyes and the eyes never lie, Chico. They keep the kind of eye contact during conversations that makes you squirm in your seat and you will almost always lose a staring contest with them. They flirt with their eyes and every time you catch him is most likely completely intentional. You asked about whether Italians think all foreign girls are "easy". Let's be honest, it's pretty damn hard to keep your clothes on with that deadly combination of accent and bedroom eyes and many, many a foreigner has fallen into the trap and I judge NONE OF YOU. However, I must disagree that this makes Italians think we are not "girlfriend" or "wife" material and I have the evidence to prove it in the form of NUMEROUS Love Stories, read them. Moving onto the part about whether you should ask him out or not, I personally took the liberty of polling all the Italian men that follow me on Instagram as well as asking my husband in a completely non-subtle manner. My husband just laughed at me for asking the question which I basically translated as such: as long as you both get what you want, who cares who initiated! The results of my survey are below (I asked- Italian men: do you like a woman who makes the first move?):

So that's a pretty definite GO FOR IT from the peanut gallery. Since he's from a small town, this love interest of yours might be more on the traditional side but why not let him show that off by opening doors and complimenting you and paying for dinner while you get the ball rolling on this? Sometimes, part of the appeal of mixed culture relationships is that you end up surprising each other and it might just be that stereotypical American forward-ness that he finds both scary and sexy. The next move is ask this guy out, maybe something low-key and casual...after work drinks perhaps? With regards to sex, I wouldn't give away the cookie too early on in the game. I'm a big believer of Steve Harvey and his cookie theory (if you don't know what I'm talking about, go get yourself the book "Think Like a Man, Act Like a Lady" STAT). He has a 90 day rule. In my opinion, it's a tad on the long side and you could shorten that down as you see fit but I do like the concept and I think Italian men do as well. In the end, it's not about sex per se, but about making him work for it and believe me, an Italian man will put in the work like he's getting paid overtime. So hold out a bit and relish in what you thought was long lost nowadays...COURTSHIP. Bring on the flowers, love notes, midnight texts, and extended eye contact! Let me know how it goes!

P.S. You might also be interested in this post from ages ago: Asians and Italians…The Perfect Cross-Cultural Cocktail? ​

Quick Note: this is a new Category I'm testing out as a means to answer some of the e-mails or comments that I receive. They are modified or edited slightly for grammar and clarity purposes and the names made anonymous and any other identifying names or features have been changed. If you have a question, please write to Dear Jasmine at questadolcevitablog(at)gmail.com or leave me a comment. I hope my answers can be helpful and if they're not helpful, at least humorous. 

If you enjoyed this guest post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at these ones:
​Dear Jasmine: City Love
​Dear Jasmine: Something to Hide
Dear Jasmine: Navigating International Waters
Dear Jasmine: Fast and Furious
​Dear Jasmine: Only Fools Rush In
​Dear Jasmine: College Crushes
​Dear Jasmine: Foreign Boys and Accents

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