Disclaimer: This is purely a post for entertainment value and should be not taken as factual or true, it is based solely on my own personal experience, that of both my Italian and non-Italian friends, and that of an anonymous survey of my Instagram followers from all over the world. If you don’t like opinions or generalizations about other cultures, don’t read this post!

This is a post I've been thinking of writing for quite a while, but feared perhaps it might be a little too sassy. But then I thought about all the dirty talking posts that you guys loved (you filthy animals you), and the fact that if this is a topic that's crossed my mind before, it's most definitely crossed other minds. I've had this conversation privately amongst expat friends and also more in a more public nature by collecting your experiences and opinions via Instagram direct message. So I've categorized what everyone wrote me, mixed with this the experience of my friends and I, and now I give you this little list of how to make love like an Italian. I should say that most of the research, I'd say 98% of it, came from foreign women talking about Italian men or from Italian men themselves so let's say the observations are applicable to Italian men (sorry Italian ladies, I guess men don't kiss and tell as much as we females do!). 

1. They make use of their tongues. 
Hang on, I know what your dirty mind was thinking and actually....you're right. That's exactly what the "research" shows. Apparently those Italians are VERY TALENTED WITH THEIR TONGUES in all the right places. I'm not going to say where those places are. Ok, yes I am because I'm going to share an anonymous quote from one of our contributors to the research:  

"My Italian lover was better at oral sex than any other. His tongue and touch were pure magic!" 

I don't think there's much more we need to comment on here. The men seem to really enjoy themselves in the Netherlands (get it?) and this can be in contrast to their North American counterparts who often seem to prefer to get to the main event. I would actually love to know if the nature of the Italian language, the way its sounds are structured (the double consonants and the R sounds), has some kind of effect on the physical capabilities of the tongue in bedroom performances. As in, are Italians just naturally better at this activity because of practiced tongues? And clearly here, it would make the bigger difference if you're a female on the receiving end. It seems like it could be logically linked. Someone needs to do a study please. You could use native Spanish, Italians, and then mothertongue English speakers as the control. 
 
2. They make use of their tongues in another way.
So the next thing that distinguishes Italians from others in the sack is that they are very good talkers- before, during, and after. They seem to know all the right things to say and even if they don’t, as long as they’re speaking in Italian, it works anyways! Italian language aside, your average Italian male crushes the competition when it comes to busting out the poetry and prose. The culture is completely founded on this. In school, Italian students have to memorize poetry. Most of them can still perfectly recite lines from The Divine Comedy on demand so you can imagine what else they have in their repertoire. What’s the difference between an Average American Male saying a line and an Average Italian Male saying the same line? See our next point.
 
3. They maintain eye contact.
Eye contact that burns into your soul and makes you FEEL ALL THE THINGS. This is also what make the line delivery different. When Italians do it, with eye contact and sincerity, you believe it. You more than believe it, you feel like you’re the first and only girl he’s ever said that thing to. That’s how good they are. So they really keep eye contact with you, even during S-E-X and inevitably, despite their performance, you’re coming away from it feeling like you “REALLY CONNECTED”. The continual eye contact is how you feel this connected to someone who doesn’t even speak English.
 
4. They are passionate and creative.
This one was given to me by an Italian boy but I think I have to agree. So much passion involved in whatever they do. If Italians love something, by golly, they don’t hold back on it. You know how you hear about girls reminiscing about those steamy sessions “back in the day” when you’d start making out with your high school boyfriend in the hallway because hormones were just running overtime? Here in Italy, it’s like that never changed. You’ll still see a lot of couples of all ages out in public, making out like teenagers. Recently, during a cemetery visit, I saw a couple going at it next to a tombstone. Just to address the creative, I think that this applies to the pre-making love part the most, when they are wining and dining you or creating amazing dates to take you on. Albeit, much of the time I think we have to give Italy herself credit in this because TBH, she helps a ton.
 
5. They can distinguish between making love and not.
America is inundated with porn and while Italians are definitely consumers of porn, I don’t think they have let themselves become as ‘affected’ by it as other male counterparts. In all my years in Italy so far, I have yet to talk to a girl who has hooked up with an Italian and come away from it feeling like she was used for one purpose only. I’m not saying that Italian guys don’t intentionally do this, because of course they do, but they are just really good at still making you feel like he’s “making love” to you and not just doing that gerund form of the verb that starts with an F. So you could argue that this is a bunch of trickery on their part but hey, if both parties come out of it with a smile on their face and a story to tell, by all means. 

If this post got you in the mood, I'll just leave these right here...
The Guy's Guide to Talking Dirty in Italian 
​The Nasty Girl's Guide to Talking Dirty in Italian

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​It was spring when we met. The panna cotta colored magnolias were in full bloom in Milan and their sweet perfume seemed to come in waves, in little puffs of perfection. He paused and looked up at them for a moment, almost pink against the bright, bluebird sky, but then instantly regretted stopping. She used to love this time of year. Primavera. If she had been here now, holding his arm on the way to nowhere, she would have undoubtedly commented on the magnolias.

Flowers are a fickle thing, they are there in beginnings and endings and loyal to neither.
 
He thought back to the beginning, eight years ago that seemed like a lifetime and a second all at once. It was a Wednesday evening and he was in the classic mid-week rut, wishing he hadn’t already told his friends he’d be at aperitivo after work. The isolation of his apartment and a solitary Nastro Azzurro on the couch with the game on was tempting. But one of his pet peeves was cancelling at the last minute, so he begrudgingly buttoned his trench, popped the collar against the light breeze and headed off towards Piazza Duomo. As he passed his reflection in the Prada window front, he took stock of his reflection: tall, broad-shouldered, young enough to still be reckless on occasion, light brown hair a little too messy to pass for being intentional, hazel eyes that his carta d’identità decided to call “verde”, and a 5 o’clock shadow that already looked like he hadn’t shaved in days. No, he didn’t look classically Italian and the only thing that gave him away was his perfectly pressed blue shirt and leather shoes. As an art director, he was used to curating beauty. It was probably his downfall because beauty is always evolving and so did his girlfriends, to satisfy the peaks and valleys of a life inundated by beautiful things. Sometimes he blamed it on Italy as well, he was surrounded by beauty. If you don’t stop in your tracks to admire one church, you’ll just as easily find another, more stunning, a few blocks on.  At least this is what he always believed until that Wednesday evening in primavera when he saw her.
 
She wasn’t classically beautiful, she was like that first church that you could walk by in hopes of finding a better one. Especially in a town like Milan. Thinking about it now, it was something about her that was indefinable, a combination of things, a chemical equation that resulted in alchemy. Her long, dark hair falling down her back as she laughed deeply, her head thrown back as if she were laughing at God, her leather glove clad-hand gripping a book that he couldn’t make out. He would later discover it was a copy of The Unbearable Lightness of Being. Had he known how this would all turn out, he would have realized that the book was a sign. Yet, as so many men before him in history, a glance was enough. A laugh was all it took. He was entranced, spellbound by her presence. Not by her literal presence but the way in which she was present like no other woman he had ever known. She was living in that moment that he saw her across the via, not only existing like so many of us are. She was exuberant, radiant, and real. She made him want to live.
 
Those words were the beginning, and strangely also the end if read with the end in mind. She made him want to live. And so he left. 

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Today's two lovers are probably the definition of what it is to be in a relationship in the millenial day and age- we're now living in a world that brings hearts together from its four corners with love stories that span oceans and continents with the help of Skype, Whatsapp, Tinder, Skyscanner, and AirBnB (stay tuned, I might have a love story about everyone's favorite accommodation finder!). Globalization may have its downsides and I'm no economics major, but I have to say that an upside is the mobility that its given to people. That, mixed with the prevalence of English as a lingua franca has inevitably allowed us to make connections with each other like never before. So tell me, what's the common thread between Florence, a Swedish stud and a Mexican mamacita (apologies for making alliterations like Pitbull)? You got it...Love Story Lunedì! He's been living in Florence for the past ten years, she was raised between Mexico and the USA so essentially between two people, we have a mix of four cultures! Today's story is taking us from opposite sides of the Atlantic (just to change things up a bit), from Paula's hometown of Mexico City to Pontus's of Stockholm, Sweden, with a final stop in their current location of Florence, Italy. 

Where are you from and where is your significant other from? 
I was born in Mexico City and he was Born in Stockholm, Sweden. He has been in Florence for almost 10 years now and I was raised in both USA and Mexico.  

Curator's Note: I'm already euphorically confused. YAS. Adoro. 

Where and when did you meet your significant other? 
We met on summer of 2016 at a Gala Party that was being hosted by my university here in Florence. I was attending as a new student and he on the other hand was attending with a friend of his who had recently graduated from the same university. 

Curator's Note: When is someone going to give all these couples a book deal or a TV series? a GALA PARTY, FLORENCE. Strangers in the nightttttttt.......! 

Who made the first move? 
He did! I was so nervous about being at the Gala since I didn't know anyone so I wasn’t really aware of my surroundings. A friend of his approached me at the beginning of the event and eventually introduced me to all of his friends, (one being my boyfriend). He waited for his friend to leave my side for a second in order to “steal” me away. We talked for hours that night, as if we knew each other so well.

Curator's Note: You probably do know each other. You know, from a parallel life. Because that's absolutely something I would say being the romantic I am. 

If your significant other was the "foreigner"in the situation in which you met where did you initially think he was from? 
I didn’t honesty have time to think about this! But knowing that the university was international, we asked each other right away where we were from.

What was your first impression of him?
I instantly thought he was attractive. However, I was definitely not expecting to talk or anything that night. I was really impressed by our flowing conversations, it made him so much more attractive right away. 

Curator's Note: Of course, can't fall in love with a pretty face. Well, maybe you can but it won't last.

Dish on the first kiss! 
Ours didn’t happen that night ! Hahah As a matter of fact, he tried and I didn’t let him! Hahahah I told him “I don’t kiss on the first date”, which I immediately regretted because it took a full 2 weeks for it to happen. He later told me that he was so nervous to do it because he didn’t want me to reject him again. 

Curator's Note: No no no, you did the right thing girlfriend. He was probably so nervous yes but also probably so determined. I'm sure that two weeks was worth it in the end. Wink, wink. 

​Where do you live now? 
We both live in Florence, Italy. However, we will be moving to Stockholm next May.​

Curator's Note: See what I mean guys, this is the epitome of the young, modern couple now. It's becoming so yesterday to do the high school sweetheart, white picket fence thing isn't it? Who am I kidding though? I love that too. If there's love involved, I love it. 

How did he propose? 
He proposed on Ponte alla Carraia. We were on our way to meet some friends for a dinner (that later on I was told was all fake).  As we were crossing the bridge, I feel him pull me back a little. As I turned around I saw him kneeling down and my brother at the corner of the bridge taking a video. It took me a couple of seconds to realize what was going on, I was definitely not expecting it. It was perfect and beautifully un-expected! We are getting married in July 27 in Mexico! Cannot wait.

Curator's Note: My heart is exploding with happiness right now. This all belongs on Netflix. Wishing you the most beautiful wedding in Mexico. (Funny note, before editing, "kneeling" had a typo and it said "keeling" and all I could picture was some poor guy "keeling over" from pre-proposal jitters hehe).

Have you learnt each other's languages? 
Not yet! He understands a bit of Spanish because of his background in Italian…. I will be starting Swedish lessons pretty soon! 

Curator's Note: I'm surprised you didn't say he basically understands Spanish. I've always had these bizarre experiences where Italians and Spanish-speakers can have full conversations with each other without switching their native language. True story, actually happened to me in Cuba when I wanted to practice Spanish with the bartender and my Italian boyfriend (now-husband) just took over the conversation in Italian. Boo him. 

Any advice for mixed/long-distance couples?
Have an open-mind when it comes to different mentalities. Having different cultures and beliefs can tend to get in the way in many situations. However, you can always “meet in the middle” in order to make everyone happy. ​

Submitted by Paula.

Here's how you can connect with them:
Instagram: @lovers.abroad ​

First of all, thank you to everyone that has reached out to share their story with me and all of those who have been spreading the word and coercing *cough cough* couples into contacting me. Word of mouth is the best way to find more stories to share so if you know someone, by all means let them know about this awesome series. Today we are finally going back to the land down under for this love story that shows how 16 546km is really just a hop, skip, and a jump when it comes to matters of the heart. These two love birds met on the dance floor one night when fate, salsa, and mojitos all aligned to give us hope in this crazy thing we called AMORE. Australian Alicha thought she had been snagged by a sexy Spaniard or a lovely Latin American fella, but she found herself, like so many before her, seduced by a cliché- lo' and behold her dancing partner was an Italian! I'll let them tell the rest of the story, happy reading! 

Where are you from and where is your significant other from? 
I’m from Sydney, Australia and he is from Milan, Italy 

Curator's Note: sounds familiar right Angela? 

Where and when did you meet your significant other? 
We met at a salsa bar in Sydney of all places almost a year and a half ago and seriously only feels like yesterday!

Curator's Note: Salsa is insanely sexy and I actually think it's the perfect place to make a connection. The music, the hips...everything points to falling in love! 

Who made the first move? 
He did for sure. I was just minding my own business on the dance floor with one of my girlfriends and he grabbed me by the hand out of nowhere and spun me around like a ballerina and we couldn’t stay away from each other since then.

Curator's Note: Typical. This sounds like Dirty Dancing. I kinda love the aggressiveness in this, very confident that's for sure, very Italian if you ask me. 

If your significant other was the "foreigner"in the situation in which you met where did you initially think he was from? 
I actually thought he was either Latin American or Spanish (He’ll kill me for saying that haha) and especially learning his first name was Dennis Italian never came to mind! 

Curator's Note: Dennis...yes not your stereotypical Italian name, although you'll find lots of American names here now, it's trendy. Please leave a comment so I know he hasn't actually killed you for saying that you thought he was Latin American or Spanish, haha! 

What was your first impression of him?
To be honest I was under the influence of several mojitos that night but I do remember being very impressed by his confidence and dance moves!

Curator's Note: Honesty is the best policy. No one ever got a good story out of abstaining from mojitos. 

Dish on the first kiss! 
Our first kiss happened the night we first met. It seems I was feeling very confident too at that time thanks to all the mojitos EEEEEK! 
 
Curator's Note: I like how fast this went down. I think ya'll just knew a good thing when you saw it. 

​Where do you live now? 
Currently we are both living in Australia but still deciding whether or not to make the big move to Italy or stay put in the land down under.

Curator's Note: It's a tough choice, they are SO DIFFERENT. 

Have you learnt each other's languages? 
Since I met him here in Australia he already knew basic English but as we’ve spent more time together he’s English has definitely improved. He even knows all the Aussie slang and isn’t afraid to use it! As for me, I can understand Italian more than I can speak it but I am taking lessons right now to get more confident in speaking.

Curator's Note: That is adorbs that he uses all the Aussie slang. I think it's so cute when someone uses slang. My husband knows some Canadian slang too. 

Any advice for mixed/long-distance couples?
For long distance relationships, the main advice I can give is to trust your partner. Pretty cliché but trust is the most important factor in a relationship in general and even more for a long distance relationship and obviously communication and A LOT of it. Just enjoy the moment you’re in because at the end of it all, it will be worth it. 

Submitted by Alicha.

Here's how you can connect with her:
Instagram: @_wan_der_lust
Facebook: https://facebook.com/AlichaEstrella

Dear City Love,

Our subconscious works in mysterious ways and you're very likely finding yourself connecting to guys who don't live near you because you don't see yourself living where you currently are, almost as if you're seeking a reason to move away. As a sidenote, thank God things didn't work out with my Russian boyfriend from high school, otherwise I would be living in Siberia right now. I'll let you in on a secret though: never move in pursuit of a man. I chose those words specifically because lots of women, myself included, have moved in situations where a man was involved, however the key "no-no" word here is pursuit. Remember that a synonym for pursuit is chase. So what I'm saying is do not consider uprooting your entire life to move cities unless you're chasing one of your own personal life goals. Men, in my humble opinion, are not a suitable life goal. They are a nice fixture on the sidelines and can certainly be excellent cheerleaders but that's all they should be in this case. They should be there as support as you run to the end zone and prance over with pom-poms to sweep you up in a great big, movie-worthy kiss after you've scored the touchdown but a person, one person, should never be the end game. You are your end game. So whatever you do, however you play this game called life, focus on you. 
​
That's why I don't think your question is about a boy at all but about a city that's calling you and the potential you feel is waiting for you there. I've felt that way about cities before, heck I've felt that way about whole countries. I guess that's why I'm writing you this reply from Italy and in the grand scheme of things, I think that's your answer. I am your answer incarnate. You say this is a city you've been wanting to live in for a long time, so live in it. Not because that boy you met is there but because you had this dream long before you even met him and if you don't take my advice, you'll be thinking about this city long after you've forgotten his name. And how much do you want to bet that while you're busy living in the city that you've been wanting to live in for a long time, love will find you anyways? I'd bet my favorite pair of Weitzmans on it.

P.S. once you're there in that city, send me a postcard. I want to know you did it. 

Dear Accent Amore,

First off, is it even possible to NOT have an instant crush on someone with an accent? I kid you not when I say that a dude could be a literal 1 on a attractiveness scale but the moment he opens his mouth and pronounces "three" as "tree", I'm bumping him up to an 8.5. Apparently I have a weakspot for adult men with an inability to produce the "th" sound, I'm easy to please, go figure!  So this one is easy: ALWAYS GIVE LOVE A CHANCE. I don't know that I've ever heard of anyone say, at the end of their lives, that they regret having loved too much. I'm not entirely sure when society started to become so scared of feelings, so much that it actually became associated with the verb "to catch", as if it's something to be avoided like a cold. I advocate for catching all the feels like they're going out of style (because they are). You will never be younger or more free than you are at this very moment, remember that. You say you're worried about an impending goodbye but if you think about it, all relationships that you will ever embark on (with the exception of one if you're really lucky)...they all have an impending goodbye, an "expiration date" as you say, it's just not in the form of a flight time. So really what's the difference between a "normal" relationship and one with a foreign boy with a plane ticket and a visa?  The difference is that with the former, we don't fixate on the ending because we don't know the exact date and time, we let ourselves be optimistic and we let ourselves believe in the best, essentially we let ourselves believe in love. Let yourself do that. If you read the Love Stories series, you'll find that most of these relationships started off just like yours, mine did. They are proof that when you find the right person, accent or no accent, you make it work; oceans, wars, race, and poverty can't keep lovers apart, an expiring visa is at the very bottom of the problem pile. What's the real problem then? The real problem is not exploring potential with a new person because in doing this, you risk not knowing what could happen. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather prefer to know the ending than to wonder "what if", the saddest two words in the English language (yes, I stole that from Letters to Juliet and yes, I'll leave that scene right below so you can watch it over and over again without judgement). Erase the what ifs, learn some sweet nothings in French and other French things...*wink, wink, nudge, nudge* and at the very worst, you'll come away from it wiser because every person we meet and love teaches us a little more about ourselves (and we are our own soulmates so that's important) AND about the person we might want to spend a little bit longer with (a lifetime if you want), even before you meet him (or her!). I know it's scary but I'll  make you a promise. I promise you that one day, if you're one of the lucky ones, when you're an 80-year-old grandmother sitting on a front porch swing drinking sweet tea (or Southern Comfort neat if you're an awesome 80-year-old), you'll remember Lorenzo's secret lasagne recipe that he shared with you, Nikita's impossibly green eyes against a backdrop of snow, that summer in Spain with Santiago, and sitting next to fire with Timothée during a long December, and  as you're sipping your hard alcohol, what will you do?
You'll smile. Because these are the memories that make a life. 

Dear College Crushin', 

I basically have two scenarios here and my answer changes depending on the scenario. The first is that your Italian-Spanish crush is a legit foreign student and grew up in Europe, the second is that he is a cast member of Jersey Shore (in the sense that he is "Italian-Spanish" which when said out loud, is accompanied by the *quote/unquote finger gesturing*). I'm assuming the first for this answer because for the second scenario, it's pretty simple- with American college guys, you can make the first move, in fact sometimes you're obliged to unless he's got his liquid courage up. But in the case of the sexy foreign student with an Italian upbringing (I can't speak for the Spanish part, but I could make assumptions that the Spanish are similar to Italians)...LEAVE THE FIRST MOVES TO THE MEN. I know that it seems so archaic to say but I've done my share of dating foreigners and profiling international couples (with a specialization on Italian men) to know that they tend to do things old school. Let them flex that legendary Latin lover muscle, wait that could be misunderstood! What I meant to say is let him live up to the Latin lover stereotype and trust in good 'ol biology where the men do the hunting. That's not to say you should completely ignore him or not make yourself known to him but do it in the subtle ways of a chaste signorina from the days of The Godfather when you had to be supervised on dates by the entire village- give him a smile and some quick eye contact when you do cross paths. Then you wait it out. If he's interested, he'll find a way to talk to you, I absolutely guarantee this. If he doesn't, well he's just not that into you (or he's into someone else) and you might as well set your sights on another sexy foreign student, campuses are good for them! 

​Quick Note: this is a new Category I'm testing out as a means to answer some of the e-mails or comments that I receive. They are modified or edited slightly for grammar and clarity purposes and the names made anonymous and any other identifying names or features have been changed. If you have a question, please write to Dear Jasmine at questadolcevitablog(at)gmail.com. I hope my answers can be helpful and if they're not helpful, at least humorous. 

If you enjoyed this guest post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at these ones:
​Dear Jasmine: Something to Hide
Dear Jasmine: Navigating International Waters
Dear Jasmine: Fast and Furious
​Dear Jasmine: Only Fools Rush In