Dear Hard to Resist,
First off, I hear you girl. I essentially have three vices in my life: green eyes, all-you-can-eat crab legs at Las Vegas buffets, and Italian men. For centuries people have almost venerated the Latin Lover and with good reason- they're sexy and they know it (they even make it their ringtone), they make you feel like the inner goddess you are, and I'm pretty sure they could romance the hell out of a bag of chips if their life depended on it. But with great power comes...great power. You thought I was going to say responsibility right? Italian men, rightfully so, like to abuse their power in one of two situations. The first is, they're young and just wanting to do what we all did when we were young which is hump anything that moves. The second is, they are not that into you but you make yourself available anyways in which case, why would he turn down a nice slice of chocolate cake even when his tastes are more apple pie-oriented? I disagree strongly with the statement that Italian men have passion that ebbs and flows. When an Italian man finds something that he is absolutely convinced he can't live without, the passion part only increases exponentially with time. Think about Italians and their soccer teams. They love the fuck out of their soccer team. They are fiercely loyal. If they are season ticket holders, they are showing up for every single match, rain or shine. I know that fedelity is often questioned in Italy but from personal experience getting to know my male colleagues and making male friends, I can confidently say that if an Italian man considers you to be the donna della sua vita, there is a very good chance he'll remain as loyal to you as he is to his squadra del cuore. So with regards to the first Italian you mentioned, the one who showed up and then disappeared? He doesn't get to show up anymore. His seats are taken. It's clear he wasn't feeling it enough to sit through the half-time show and that's not what we're after here. We want the guy who is there cheering like a lunatic until the very last minute of the game even when his team is losing 5-0. We want the guy that shows up. You're dating someone new, so congratulations. I can't decipher from your e-mail how or where you met or really what he's like at all so I can't give you any commentary for Italian Man #2. What I CAN say is that the cultural similarities between Italians and Asians give your relationship a slight advantage, like a two-minute head start in a marathon. It's probably going to make a little difference in the beginning, but in the long-run it’s not the only thing that matters. I mean, most couples in Italy are Italians with Italians and they don’t always manage to make it work. Also, I know I wrote that infamous post called “How to Snag and Keep an Italian Man”, but my verb choice was probably a bit inaccurate. It is not your job to keep someone and it’s not a man’s job to keep his woman. It is our job, as a couple, as a team, to keep each other. To keep each other in high regard. To keep each other relevant. To keep each other updated with our needs. All this reciprocal keeping is what, strangely enough, keeps us in love.
First off, I hear you girl. I essentially have three vices in my life: green eyes, all-you-can-eat crab legs at Las Vegas buffets, and Italian men. For centuries people have almost venerated the Latin Lover and with good reason- they're sexy and they know it (they even make it their ringtone), they make you feel like the inner goddess you are, and I'm pretty sure they could romance the hell out of a bag of chips if their life depended on it. But with great power comes...great power. You thought I was going to say responsibility right? Italian men, rightfully so, like to abuse their power in one of two situations. The first is, they're young and just wanting to do what we all did when we were young which is hump anything that moves. The second is, they are not that into you but you make yourself available anyways in which case, why would he turn down a nice slice of chocolate cake even when his tastes are more apple pie-oriented? I disagree strongly with the statement that Italian men have passion that ebbs and flows. When an Italian man finds something that he is absolutely convinced he can't live without, the passion part only increases exponentially with time. Think about Italians and their soccer teams. They love the fuck out of their soccer team. They are fiercely loyal. If they are season ticket holders, they are showing up for every single match, rain or shine. I know that fedelity is often questioned in Italy but from personal experience getting to know my male colleagues and making male friends, I can confidently say that if an Italian man considers you to be the donna della sua vita, there is a very good chance he'll remain as loyal to you as he is to his squadra del cuore. So with regards to the first Italian you mentioned, the one who showed up and then disappeared? He doesn't get to show up anymore. His seats are taken. It's clear he wasn't feeling it enough to sit through the half-time show and that's not what we're after here. We want the guy who is there cheering like a lunatic until the very last minute of the game even when his team is losing 5-0. We want the guy that shows up. You're dating someone new, so congratulations. I can't decipher from your e-mail how or where you met or really what he's like at all so I can't give you any commentary for Italian Man #2. What I CAN say is that the cultural similarities between Italians and Asians give your relationship a slight advantage, like a two-minute head start in a marathon. It's probably going to make a little difference in the beginning, but in the long-run it’s not the only thing that matters. I mean, most couples in Italy are Italians with Italians and they don’t always manage to make it work. Also, I know I wrote that infamous post called “How to Snag and Keep an Italian Man”, but my verb choice was probably a bit inaccurate. It is not your job to keep someone and it’s not a man’s job to keep his woman. It is our job, as a couple, as a team, to keep each other. To keep each other in high regard. To keep each other relevant. To keep each other updated with our needs. All this reciprocal keeping is what, strangely enough, keeps us in love.
Quick Note: this is a new Category I'm testing out as a means to answer some of the e-mails or comments that I receive. They are modified or edited slightly for grammar and clarity purposes and the names made anonymous and any other identifying names or features have been changed. If you have a question, please write to Dear Jasmine at questadolcevitablog(at)gmail.com. I hope my answers can be helpful and if they're not helpful, at least humorous.
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