Where are you from and where is your significant other from?
I'm from Mississippi and Manu is from Napoli.
My last year (5th year of college…by choice) I was fairly certain that I wanted to do a 2 year program with an evangelical organization that involved living overseas. I really wanted to go to Mexico or somewhere in South or Central America. (Anyone who knows me knows I’m obsessed with Hispanics.) But the Lord put me in Italy…and for a pretty good reason.
Where and when did you meet your significant other?
I visited a church my first Sunday there where my future husband played the keyboard. He noticed me, but I didn’t notice him. I just moved to a city I knew nothing about. I spoke maybe 5 words of Italian thanks to Duolingo. I wasn’t checking out the “maschi “(boys) He didn’t speak to me that morning because he didn’t want anyone picking on him for going to talk to the new foreign girl. That night we both were at another church at an event with many different churches. The family I worked with met him first and told me to go talk to him since he spoke English. (not many people do in Napoli). He did speak English but I barely understood anything he said…and not because of what you may think-an Italian accent. No this Neapolitan guy had a Northern Irish accent! I can only understand it now because we later lived in Belfast together after getting married.
Curator's Note: an Italian with a Northern Irish accent might be cutest thing in existence.
Who made the first move?
OMG just looked through Facebook Messenger and found the first message he sent me. (5 days after we met) He wrote it in Italian and then in English;
“Hello Bethany, how are you? Thank you for accepting my friend request. (LOL) In this way, you can contact me in case you need anything! (I guess better than asking me for my digits right? ). How are your Italian lessons going? Fine I hope! It’s never easy to learn a new language, but I’m sure that you’ll speak Italian in a perfect way soon! (Still working on that). Ok I wish you a very good night, and remember that if you need anything, you can count on me! See you on Sunday, bye!.”
What was your first impression of him?
He’s always been the sweetest. Anyways, we were friends for a while. With time (piano, piano) I thought maybe I could like him more than a friend. (I put him in the friend-zone twice when he
approached me about wanting to be in a relationship but that never stopped him from always being there for me). After my best friend came to visit me and gave me 100% approval I told him we could officially start dating . I’m not sure if I could have survived Napoli without Manu’s help. I was from a small town in Mississippi and Napoli was a loud and chaotic city. From getting internet in my house to putting things outside my balcony to prevent birds from pooping everywhere, he did it all.
Curator's Note: oh you know it's true love honey when they make it a priority to prevent birds from pooping on your balcony.
Where do you live now?
We currently live in Napoli. Our first year of marriage we lived in Belfast because Manu had already lived there before and work was always much more stable there than Napoli. I couldn’t cope with the
weather so we moved back to Napoli. We may end up in the States one day. Chi sa? (Who knows)!
Have you learned each other's languages?
Manu was pretty fluent in English when we first met. He makes small grammar mistakes but besides that I would say his English is amazing. Sometimes I think it comes more naturally for him to speak English. I’m still learning Italian (and Neapolitan) but I feel like I’m fluent enough to get by. (Being able to get tasks done at the comune is fluent enough for me). I can also argue with someone to get what I need.
Curator's Note: I'd say if you can argue in Italian and not leave any public office building in tears, that's pretty darn good Italian for me!
Any advice for mixed/long-distance couples?
It SUCKS. Sometimes I was mad at Manu because I was just unhappy that we were so far apart. So don’t get mad at the other person. It’s no one’s fault that you have to be in your own country at some point. Communicate everyday of course. Don’t end a call or message at night being angry. Countdown the days until you see each other again but also enjoy the time with the people you’re with. (Maybe family or friends that you won’t be with in the future if you’re going to be living overseas).
As far as being in a mixed culture relationship, you really learn so much, I think more than a “regular” relationship. It helps if one of you already knows the other’s culture. But even then, you’ll still be learning. Take the things that you like from each other’s culture and use them. The things that you don’t like: discuss them and try to understand why they do something in a certain way. Your life/family will be different from the way each of you grew up. You get to create your own mixed life and it’s a beautiful thing.
Curator's Note: I think we need that last line on a mug or something. Amen.
How did he propose?
Well before you get too excited, it wasn’t anything too special. I knew I wanted to marry Manu by the time I was heading back to America after 2 years in Napoli. He needed a little more time to think about marriage. So I didn’t get proposed to with the panoramic view of Napoli with Vesuvio in the background unfortunately. After 4 months of being apart, I came to visit him in Northern Ireland. It wasn’t a special place for us but I thought “Well getting proposed to by a castle in Northern Ireland would be cool.” But that didn’t happen. A month later, Manu came to America for the first time. (Talk about culture shock.) Many Italians expect all of America to be New York (because of movies), but most of America is nothing like New York. Anyways, it was Christmas Eve and we were at my mom’s house after being with family all day. I was washing dishes and Manu asked me to come in the living room. He said some sweet things which I didn’t think anything of because he always says sweet things. Then he got down on one knee. I freaked out and kept asking if he was serious. (Just wasn’t expecting it that night since the gift he gave me earlier that day was an MP3 speaker instead of a ring!) I think it’s hilarious because my brother also proposed to my sister-in-law in that living room. While my brother-in-law was super romantic and proposed to my sister on the beach with candles and rose petals- the whole works. Manu said he waited to propose to me in America because he wanted to ask for my family’s permission.
Curator's Note: this was the absolute perfect proposal. The part about him waiting to get to America to ask for your family's permission is that kind of old-school Southern Italy that is swoon-worthy.
I love being married because I get to live with my best friend. He might bug me every now and then by being goofy or getting the house dirty right after I clean it but besides that I love being with him. I feel like I can totally be myself and have always felt so comfortable with him. Living as a foreigner I never “sento al mio agio” (feel like I fit in) He makes me feel special and loved. Being married is the best!
Here's how you can connect with her:
Instagram: @thestraniera
A huge, heartfelt thanks to Bethany and Manu for sharing their love story with us.
Vi auguro tante belle cose. xoxo
If you enjoyed this post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at all of the Love Story Lunedì.
There are so many amazing stories to read so make sure you're all caught up. And should you want to share your own story or know of a couple who would, please get in touch. The majority of these stories have been brought to me through word-of-mouth, so let's keep spreading the love.
Here are our past Love Stories in no particular order:
Love Story Lunedì: V & P
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Gina and Marco
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Caroline and Lorenzo
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Elka and Gabriele
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LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Loriana and Giancarlo
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LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Marlena and Fernando
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Sherry and Andre
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Faith and Valerio
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