My Biggest Language-Related Pet Peeve: When Locals Switch to English

3/16/2015

Speak Italian to me baby!

My biggest language pet peeve is one that I'm not even allowed to have. It really bothers me but I feel bad that it bothers me because it shouldn't, but it does. What is it you ask? Please don't judge me, but it's when locals speak to me in English. Gah, now it's out there and I can't take it back, I'm a terrible person. I'm not sure if I'm the only expat in the entire universe that has felt this way but I sure feel guilty for my pet peevishness about it. Because I get that they are trying to be accommodating and/or wanting to practice their own English. I get that. So I actually don't get overly frustrated if we're in a setting that warrants that, for example I'm really struggling with a word and there's a line-up behind me so we switch to English. Great, I'm down. Or if I'm purposely meeting an Italian friend who has expressed to me they want to practice English. Peachy keen. What I'm talking about though is when you start a conversation in Italian and they switch to English without you asking. Like whatever happened to that guidebook phrase "parla inglese?", if I wanted to speak English, I would ask that.

Certainly some of us don't have the most convincing accents and my English-as-a-mothertongue accent is apparent, but we're in Italy! Isn't there a saying that in Rome, do as the Romans do? It doesn't stop there either. Sometimes, when I feel extra annoyed, I will continue to speak in Italian and add on...siccome siamo in Italia...(seeing as we are in Italy...). Would you believe that there have been instances where the person has continued to go on in English?! And I know, I know, they are just being kind. And I really do want to give them a pat on the back for showing me their mastery of the English language. It's not about being "above" English either, by gosh I'm grateful to speak it as my first language. But I just want to speak and improve my Italian please and grazie.

I would like to point out that this actually can create huge issues for expats who are never forced to learn the language of their new country because everyone is getting well-versed in English. I feel for you. Again, I'm all for helping out the expats and tourists when they're struggling to be understood and have no idea what to order off the menu and etc, etc. Just please stop ruining the atmosphere of being in Italy by shoving the English menu in my hand when I reserved the table in completely comprehensible Italian.

6 Comments

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Emer Downing

3/16/2015 12:44:56 pm

I hear you on this one! I know that other people are trying to be helpful but if I have spoken first in correct Italian and they pick up from my dodgy accent that I'm foreign and speak to me in English, I get offended.

I know I shouldn't but I really can't help it sometimes!

Jasmine

3/16/2015 02:50:51 pm

Oh thank goodness it's not just me Emer!! :D I feel caught in the middle about it because I know people are just being nice!

Rose

5/31/2015 07:31:21 pm

I have had the same experience many times overseas of people insisting on talking to me in English. They do this even when I know their language better than they know mine. The only people who don't do it abroad are those who don't speak any English. I call them eigo banditos or English bandits. I too absolutely hate it when they do this to me. I don't agree that they are trying to be helpful at all. They are doing it for several reasons that have everything to do with their own egos and selfishness and nothing whatsoever to do with being helpful. 1. They do it to show off to others. 2. They always think they sound much better speaking English (or any other second language) than they really do. 3. Many of them have taken English in school as well as watched many English language movies and listened to English language music so they have some degree of familiarity with English. If they don't often get a chance to use their English then they are dying for the chance to use it and if they use it very often then they are dying to show off their proficiency.

They reason I say it is selfish is because if I am in their country, then when they insist on using English with me, they are causing me to become crippled in being able to navigate their country because they are denying me the ability to develop the language skills I need to effectively travel or live there. When they come to my country, I don't force them to use their language. I speak to them in English unless they wish me to speak their language. I have a Japanese friend whose English is much worse than my Japanese. I do not use Japanese with her because she is now living in an English speaking country and she has the need and the right to use English so that her life here is not one of perpetual helplessness.

When I deal with strangers in another country who insist on speaking English with me when I wish to use their language, I pretend that I don't understand them (unless their English is really excellent).

I have also had the experience of them making fun of my language skills. This specifically happened in Tunisia. Tunisians pretend to themselves and the world that they all speak French as a second language. But actually, most of them have very poor French skills. They also speak French with a nonstandard (basically pidgin) accent in which they very heavily roll their R's. Basically, they are speaking French with an Arabic accent. But most Tunisians are not aware that they are speaking a nonstandard French. I speak standard Parisian accent French. I have been complemented many times on my accent in French and have been told that my French is very easy to understand (by people from France). However, in Tunisia, I have had people correct my R's or laugh at my accent then correct something I said. Invariably, they are just repeating what I said but with a strongly rolled Arabic R sound. So I got back at them by finding a Youtube video where a French comedian did an at least 15 minute routine where all he did was make fun of the French accent of Tunisians, especially the R sound. So I made one girl that made fun of my French watch the video and then I spent several days mocking her heavy R by using French words and then exaggerate the R the way a Tunisian would. I hope I taught her a lesson. You might think I am mean but let me tell you, I don't care. I got sick and tired of taking abuse while I was in that country and so I decided that I would give as good as I got. It sure shut her up. She never made fun of my French again.

It is funny that people in other countries like to say that Americans are uncultured or vulgar or spoiled rich or stupid or unsophisticated. I just refuse to take their b.s. anymore. When they say anything like that, I call them on it straight out. I ask them things like, "If America didn't exist, all you sophisticated Europeans would still be reading by candlelight at night, walking or riding horses to get to the next (flea ridden) village, and getting all your news at the local market each morning since you would have no way to keep your food from spoiling. You would have no tv, no internet, no computers...Do I need to continue or do you get the message. Think about it next time you decide to spout off about how "sophisticated" your culture is compared to American society." When they complain about American hegemony, I ask them, "Which other country do you think the world would be better off having in charge? Don't think to pull down a tyrant unless you are sure the tyrant standing in line to take their place isn't a hundred times worse." And so on and so on. I absolutely refuse to hang my head in shame for being an American anymore nor do I allow foreigners to insult me or my country because they are jealous of Americans. It took me 30 adult years of traveling in foreign countries to finally get to this point.

Basically, just don't take their crap. I have only one cousin overseas that I allow to speak to me in English and

6/5/2015 04:12:41 am

Ciao Rose! Sorry I took so long to respond, I read your comment quite awhile ago and have been meaning to say thanks for leaving it and all your insight and I'm glad you had the guts to basically put into words what I was more or less insinuating haha.

Diana Gallo

3/1/2016 09:56:33 am

Hi Jasmine! Annoying, I know! But I think it has to do more with them , than with making it easier on you , the poor foreigner who doesn't understand. They truly do want to practise their English, they never get to speak it, and it probably makes them look good to their friends ( you know, fare bella figura ) and unfortunately, we are the victims ! It'll start to lesson as people get to know you more, and that the conversation remains a bit stifled on their half unless they switch to Italian.

3/2/2016 01:21:20 pm

Yes you're exactly right, it has a lot to do with a combination of trying to be helpful/trying to practice/trying to show off haha. It's less of a problem now, the only times it comes up is if I'm out with English speaking friends and we are all speaking English. The waiter will usually spit out a few lines in English and take our order like that which I guess is totally fine because if you notice a couple or group speaking in English, it probably just makes more sense to approach them in English than Italian...

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