The English Stare and Getting "Englished" Living Abroad and How To Deal

8/4/2017

To start off this post, I wanted to cite something that I received from Katie of the Joy of Languages, in her e-mail newsletter, she talked about the 3 most common problems language learners face, and how to overcome them. The first one caught my attention:

You keep getting Englished

You try to speak the language. They reply in English.

Getting "Englished" is one of the biggest gripes for language learners.

I secretly love the term that Katie came up with, "Englished". It reminds me of a time that my Californian friend and I made up the concept of "The English Stare". The English Stare is when people stare at you on trains, planes, buses, stores, every public arena, because they hear you speaking English. Not sure if this is the same for other languages (please let me know if you've experienced the same stare while speaking in French, for example). The context to use this terminology would be something like "Don't look to your left, I think we're getting The English Stare".

What can you do about it? There's honestly not much I can say about how to deal with The English Stare other than ignore or be completely bold and just give them the "crazy eyes" c/o Suzanne on Orange is the New Black (if you're not visualizing what this should look like, Google it). That usually does the trick and they'll stop staring at you.

Dealing with getting spoken to in English while living abroad is another issue. I've written some commentary on this in a previous post titled: My Biggest Language-Related Pet Peeve: When Locals Switch to English, so definitely read that if you haven't yet. Here's my two cents: in my personal opinion, I think that first off, you have to get to a level in your target language where you are not holding back a conversation to an extreme excess. By this, I mean you need to be able to put together sentences and articulate basic ideas, I'm not saying anything complex. The "ideal situation" is that your language skills are "on par" with your speaking partner's English skills. This is the hard part since so many people speak English well so perhaps you're thinking you'll never be at that same level. But I don't think you need to have this ideal situation that I just outlined, I think you can be at a lower level of language ability but still carry the conversation. To do this successfully, you need to apply the age-old drinking rule of "don't break the seal" to your speaking. In case you live under a rock, we say don't "break the seal" when you're out drinking which means, hold off on peeing for as long as humanely possible without risking a kidney stone.

How does this apply to not getting Englished you ask? Here's the answer:

Do not succumb to speaking more than the word(s) you don't know in English. Don't do it! You need to keep the conversation flowing and when you're stuck or need a word, you ask it in the language you are speaking, NOT ENGLISH.

This is where those all-important phrases that they teach you in language classes come in like: How do you say ______ in Italian? What does _______ mean? One moment, let me think, etc.

Here are just a few examples from Cher of The Iceberg Project (specifically for learners of Italian):

— Non mi viene (la parola). – The word isn’t coming to me.
— Non mi viene in mente. – It’s not coming to mind.
— Ce l’ho sulla punta della lingua. – It’s on the tip of my tongue.
— Un attimo. Fammi pensare. – One moment. Let me think.
— Ho perso il filo (del discorso). – I lost the thread. (I lost my train of thought.)

To read her entire article on 13 Expressions to Keep Conversation Flowing in Italian When You Forget a Word, a Phrase or a Conjugation, click the PIN below or else PIN it to read later!

If the person you're talking to persists in English, persist in your target language. In my case, Italian. Essentially this is a passive-aggressive way to make the person understand you want to speak Italian and I'm all for being passive-aggressive in these situations because the last thing I want to do is tell the person in a reasonable manner why they should speak to me in Italian. I know, I know, this is malicious and sadistic of me but I've been having these mini language wars with people since moving to Italy and my new favourite thing to do is basically sub-consciously coerce people to speak Italian. Don't be like me though. You can try this for a bit but if the person is still Englishing, the reasonable thing to do is explain to him/her that you are studying Italian and that you would prefer to speak in Italian. You can explain how you'd really appreciate their corrections and help, but don't be scared to be quite blunt about it to. It's your language development on the line here, so be selfish about it!

What's your experience been with people speaking English to you in countries where you're living or trying to learn the native language? Do you have specific tactics you use to avoid being spoken to in English (or your mothertongue)? Let me know below. If you want to watch videos of me speaking Italian, make sure to follow the blog Facebook page: www.facebook.com/questadolcevitablog.

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at these ones:

What I'm Really Thinking While Speaking Italian as a Second Language
Taking Risks in Language Learning
Language Burnout
The Gift of Language: Italian and Beyond
The Neverending Story of Learning Italian
Living in Italy, Speaking in English
Parli Italiano?
How to Keep Learning Italian in Italy

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Diane Wargnier link

8/7/2017 09:46:51 am

Great post! I think that all language learners need to keep the context of the situation in mind when they're trying to speak to natives in their target language. If you're a tourist stopping a businessman on his way to work to ask for directions, we can't expect him to have patience with us in his native language if we can barely get the question out. Maybe doing a language meetup with a local just as interested in learning English would provide a better experience. Seeking out a language partner is a great way to leisurely practice the language. I can't fault locals for switching to English if someone's level in the other language is too low to keep a convo going.

If you're just a tourist visiting a place with a really low level in a language, I can understand the annoyance of being spoken to in English, but it's probably just easier for the person to help you in English if they're able. I think I'd do the same w/French tourists in the USA... in fact, I have. And they were grateful (and surprised!).

What gets under my skin is when people have a decent level in the language and locals just want to flex their English muscles. I've heard about that happening a lot. It actually happened at a French doctor's office. When he heard I was American, he wanted to address us in his excellent English. Which is fine. But he spoke English to my French husband!! So strange!

Another thing that happens is when people have heavy accent. While fluent, they are perceived as NOT fluent because of the accent and sometimes people will English them. ;-)

Anyway, my point is, that as a tourist, it's not a big deal, but when you are living somewhere and doing your best to integrate and be respectful of a country's culture and norms, it can be a blow to your ego when someone Englishes you! Once you get to a B1ish level, it shouldn't happen anymore.

Jasmine

8/7/2017 12:55:09 pm

Diane, thank you for your insights, you really always leave the best comments. Absolutely agreed we need to think on a situational basis here. I don't think many tourists get upset about not being spoken to in Italian anyways, but certainly on an expat level, as you said, it can get really annoying the "flexing" of the English muscle. We have met people in the past, like your doctor, who have proceeded to speak in English with us despite my continual speaking in Italian and my husband..being Italian. I can't wrap my head around this. Happy to hear it's happened to you as well. And we have had this accent discussion before, so true.

Diane link

8/7/2017 05:23:05 pm

You're welcome. Interesting stuff!!! I just can't hold back.
Another thing I've done when people have been annoying is to speak in French and then when they speak in English, say in perfect English "sorry I don't understand. I don't speak English." And repeat as necessary. Then continue in French and say why were you speaking a foreign language? We're in France, right....

8/9/2017 10:39:58 am

I love how bold you are Diane, I need to be more like you!

Katie Harris link

8/7/2017 11:29:05 am

Thanks for this post Jasmine!

I agree - if you are trying to learn the language of the country where you live, and you've got to a level, as you say, where you are not holding back a conversation to an extreme excess, it can be really frustrating when people insist on speaking in English!

Thanks for posting the list of what to say when you're thinking of a word. I normally say "how do you say it in Italian..." but "non mi viene la parola" is much better as it doesn't invite people to jump in with English as much. I'll try to remember that one in future!

p.s. I'm probably guilty of doing the "language-stare" with people who are speaking languages I'm learning - I think I may have done it with 2 Chinese people in the supermarket yesterday :|

8/7/2017 01:00:21 pm

Yes, perhaps it's just simply "the language stare" ahaha. I also normally say "how do you say ____?" but love those suggestions from Cher on other ways to stall for time haha.

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